The original plan for our summer vacation was to spend a week here and a week here, but it cost a small fortune to get to the south of France in June, we decided instead to go to this place. It won’t be as exotic as the south of France, but Mr. Fizz has never been to CA before and, while BabyFizz specified a desire for a beach and some sun, he was not specific about where the beach had to be.
So we will spend a week down south near LA, and then a week driving up to San Francisco and back. I have vague memories of visiting both places when I was younger and my parents took my brother and I on a long trip every summer. We went to CA the year I was wearing MC Hammer style pants from Au Cotton mostly every day. The other days my jeans were carefully pegged. Aaaah, the 80s. Or early 90s? I’m not really sure. All I know is that I see remnants of the 80s in what the kids are wearing these days (I saw striped arm warmers actually being worn. In public!)…I am still eagerly awaiting the return on grunge, where comfy ruled and one never had to shower.
I went to an informational session on birth doulas last night, run by a local doula herself. The audience consisted of me (21 weeks), another couple (12 weeks) and a wanna-be doula in training. I did get some good info out of the session, but it was gleaned in the few moments the wanna-be doula in training wasn’t talking about herself. HERSELF! I mean, geez, it’s not like the actual pregnant women need to have some fairly pressing questions answered.
So, here is what I learned. I probably do not need a doula if I do a homebirth. And I really do not need to worry about doulas and midwives until I am 6 or 7 months pregnant. A good doula will cost about $1000. That entails two prenatal meetings, and one postnatal meeting, each lasting at least two hours. The annoying woman’s name is Julie, her father is a lawyer, her mother is a nurse, she is 37, went to art school, waitresses at Veronique’s, feels like she is “fluttering” through life and wants to get into something that will give her a direction. She is chock full of misinformation (“The doula program is a 2 year intensive course” No – 30 hours of training is all that’s required. “The law requires an ambulance to be present at every home birth” Untrue. “Beth Israel has the best hot tubs” No – they have none).
Doulas are meant to provide physical and emotional support during labor. During all of Julie’s talking, she refused to make eye contact with us, and continued doodling in her sketch book. Not exactly qualities I’d look for in a doula. The doula who ran the session, on the other hand, was knowledgeable, genial, exuded confidence, and clearly loved helping with births. I’d hire her in a second.
Aside from being one of my favorite kids’ songs, it’s also an apt descriptor for BabyFizz these past few days. His movements have graduated from “is it gas?” to “holy cow, the baby’s moving again!”
Unfortunately, Mr. Fizz still can’t feel the movements, though I SWEAR I saw my belly move once when BF kicked me. I have also found that the hour I spend listening to the lecture for the class I’m TA-ing is an hour well spent staring at my belly. Because BF times his outbursts for 11-12 am Monday, Wednesday and Friday. What a good kid.
Yodeller L. Inertly
Ultraviolet J. Diplomats
Slammers K. Sinning
Impotence O. Pathological
Shot S. Candidness
Redoes S. Spencerian
Jilts R. Defecits
And my personal favorite (props for bringing ancient Greek epics into this!) is:
Curative G. Menelaus
(Menelaus, as we all know, was Agamemnon’s brother and husband of Helen of Troy (nee Helen of Lacedaemon)).
Who needs baby name books when we have such fabulous names on offer from the spammers? I swear BabyFizz looks like a Yodeller or a Slammer.
The ultrasound last week gave us a lovely image of BabyFizz’s boy bits…we are, without a doubt, having a boy in September!
This is a little bit scary, as I have no idea how one interacts with boy children (I am good at pretending to be a princess, but have no idea how to pretend to be a truck. Unless the truck meets a prince, falls in love and lives happily ever after).