I am trying to register for the baby shower. I have only the slightest idea of what is useful to have around the house for babies. On previous occasions when we had a child over (admittedly, a two year old) we found that whoopee cushions and our robot dog were sufficient entertainment. If the child got bored, he could start pulling books off of our bookshelves and eating the dust bunnies thereby revealed.
But our own kid? I have discovered that babies require
1) a crib
2) a car seat
3) a bath thingie
which led to:
4) crib sheets
a) crib bumper (?)
b) dust ruffle (??)
5) bath accessories
a) a washcloth? two? a dozen?
b) a towel?
a) my mom laughed when I said I registered for three onesies…and suggested I register for about a dozen more. Which made me think of
b) bibs! And that led me to
7) feeding apparatuses, which can be roughly divided into:
a) breast pump
i) other things that seem to go along with the breast pump
ii) how much milk am I possibly going to want to pump and freeze?
iii) is it rude to register for intimate things, like nipple cream and nursing pads?
i) newborn? older?
ii) you have to sterilize them? can I do that in lab? we do have an autoclave….
8) I am told there is poo
a) diapers? cloth is what we want, but where to buy them?
b) wipey things?
c) a hamper for dirty ones, but why do all the hampers look like it’s a major undertaking to remove the liner?
d) washer and dryer up in our condo (Mr. Fizz had better get cracking on that)
I do not know what else to register for, nor do I know what brand/model of things to buy. Mr. Fizz does not want a stroller. Target does not sell slings and pouches. And don’t get me started on childproofing the house. We will be an experiment in darwinism.