What it means to be a mom

For the last three nights BabyFizz has woken up at least every hour, screaming and inconsolable. If I put him on my chest he pushes himself up and screams while shaking his head back and forth, ensuring that he makes the most noise possible. I’ve tried flipping him to the other side, putting him on his stomach, giving him a pacifier…nothing works. Eventually he soothes himself and goes back to sleep.

Today I spent the first part of the day home with BF – we had some good smiles, but again he was a cranky guy, crying for no reason that I could discern.

And yet…here I am at work and I cannot wait to get home so I can spend the evening with BF, playing with him, nursing him to sleep, and watching his serene little features between screaming fits.


My day before the wee one was born:

7:30: Wake up, get ready for work.

8:30: Leave for work

6-ish: Come home or go to dance class

8-ish: make dinner

9: watch a movie or TV, knit, read

11: go to bed

(actually, it kills me to think of how many evening hours I just frittered away, when I could’ve been doing things like going to the BSO or museums or seeing friends)

Now my schedule is:

5:45: BF wakes. I try to get him to go back to sleep.
6:00: Vigorous shushing fails, move to the couch so as not to wake Mr. Fizz – as he keeps telling me, he has to be awake to bring home the bacon.

6:30: BF falls asleep again. I nod off.

7:30: BF starts screaming in his sleep. I wake him and he is instantly happy. Happy!

8:00: Generally, my mom arrives. At this point I either go back to sleep or go into work.

4:30: Leave work, trek home. Pump before mom leaves, while hearing about how good BF was during the day.

4:50: Mom leaves, BF screams.

5-6:30: Various entertainments: we read, build with blocks, watch the mobile, work on the rolling over, listen to the Aibo, play in the bouncer, watch the baby in the mirror, call Mr. Fizz repeatedly to tell him to hurry home and bring some dinner because it is bedtime, dammit.

6:30: Wash BF in the bathroom sink. Allow him to splash if he’s warm enough.

7:00: Change BF into his jammies, begin process of nursing him to sleep while watching HGTV (mmm…househunters)

8:00: attempt to hand off sleeping BF to Mr. Fizz so I can teach dance class/perform.

8:05: Screamies; more nursing while trying to put on makeup/write up choreography.

8:30: leave house, screamies still in progress. Make Mr. Fizz promise not to put BF face down in the crib while screaming.

10-11: Home and bed. When I’m home at night I take BF to bed with me; if not, Mr. Fizz does the honors.

Hourly: wake up and soothe the wee one.

I miss the days when I didn’t have to worry about anybody’s schedule except Mr. Fizz’s. Everything is about 100 times more complicated these days…good thing BF is so cute!

long time no post

I *know* it’s been a long time between posts when Mr. Fizz wonders out loud if the RSS feed is working for my site.

Since the last post we celebrated BabyFizz’s first Hanukkah (ooooh, candles!), BF’s first Christmas (ooooh, crinkly paper!) and BF’s first trip out of state (ooooh, relatives!  With crinkly things!).  The highlight of December was our trip to NJ to visit Mr. Fizz’s relatives – we stayed with his grandparents, and hands down the best part of the trip was waking up with BF every morning and promptly carrying him down to the adoring arms of his great-grandparents so I could go back to sleep.  It was AWESOME.

We had a very laid back new year’s celebration with several other kids in attendance.  We rang in the new year Greenwich Mean Time (7pm) so all those with children could go to bed, and all those without children could go out and par-tay.

The rest of January was a blur….  BF had his four month checkup on the 19th, and weighed in at a hefty 15lbs, 8oz and measured 25 inches long.  He’s finally gaining length instead of losing it!  Yay!  On the other hand, his head circumference is still in the 10th percentile…and while I appreciated birthing a small headed baby I would also like his head to start growing at some point!

The other high point of January was my return to performing.  I can fit into a few of my costumes, and in the last three weekends I’ve danced three different gigs.  Two bellygrams and one club show (which…never again.  While I was happy to do a 1am show before the baby, this time it meant going to sleep with BF at 9 and having Mr. Fizz wake me at 11 to prep…not fun at all!).  I did a 50th b-day gram last night, and the guy’s 11yo son and 4 month old daughter were in attendance.  The daughter’s fascination with my zills helps prove my point that all children love them (BF is fascinated whenever I teach a lesson at home).  The son was over the moon that he was able to balance my tray of candles on his head – as I left the house he was shouting to his mom, “I balanced her tray!  On my HEAD!  I balanced it! …”  Very cute.

That is all for now…I will try to be better about the updates.